Saturday, 24 January 2015

Update on Life | Saturday 24th January 2015

Warning: if you’re an aggressive atheist and/or are offended by the idea of Christianity don’t read this post. Better yet, just don’t come back J

So, it’s Saturday, I’ve completed my first cycle in my second semester in my second year of uni and I finally have time to sit down and write a blog post. And I swore I would write more this year.
This year has had a surprisingly terrible start for me filled with all sorts of horrors and very dark thoughts but, I don’t want to jinx anything but, it looks like things are… going to be okay. You see, I have a dream. My dream is to go to Korea and it looked like that was taken away from me but just two days ago there was a sudden switch and I know that was all down to prayer. Maybe not just prayer from me but I prayed one night, something I’d never said before and it was that night all my inhumane horrifying nightmares stopped and I actually had a really nice dream. It was so nice I probably laughed in my sleep. I woke up that morning feeling more at ease than I had felt in weeks. Then two days ago I got an email (yes, it’s always an email) with the nuance that everything was maybe going to be okay. And just yesterday evening, I had a talk with my mother and it made me realise that things are going to be okay. This desire that I have to go to Korea is so strong and is something I’ve had for so long (even after other opportunities were taken away) that it may be a desire that God has put into my heart. I can’t imagine it being otherwise. This dream won’t do me any harm as long as I stay alive and strive towards it. And when I get there I’m going to have the greatest time. I know it. God promised me. He gave my mother a verse for me when I was just 10 years old: Jeremiah 29v11 
“For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
We’ll see how things go on. I’m still a nervous wreck about life in general but that’s just in my nature.
This first week back at uni wasn’t too bad in terms of the content of my modules. It seems to be a short semester and I’m hoping it’ll feel like one. The faster the semester, the closer I am to Korea, right? And I would have officially completed my second year of university. There is one module in particular which I totally 100% signed up for but now must “endure” for the next 12 weeks or so because it’s something that brings me such nerves I cannot control the shakiness of my entire body, let alone by hands when I get up there and pretend that I have authority over people who are older than me. That’s the thing about teaching adults. These are grown ass people that probably have more education than I do. They certainly are brave to come to a country where they don’t know much of the language (like I will) and then us students have to stand up in front of them and freaking teach them. I knew I would not like to teach adults in my career because it just seems wrong. Thinking of appropriate games, appropriate register to talk to them in without being patronising, because God knows I hate patronisation (is that a word? :/). But I must endure it and try to do as well as I can with help from God until the end of the semester. Because I found out this week that we don’t have to teach in the final year. Which I’m super pleased about. Should I be pleased? I want to be a teacher, right? Well, I want to teach kids (elementary, middle and high school) but I’ve decided that I don’t want to teach in a Korean university anymore even though apparently you"ll get the most money from that. I think that’ll be even more strange living in that culture of speaking a certain way to your elders. Damn.

In terms of my New Years resolution of learning more Korean before I go to Korea. It’s going well. This weeks was not so good because of my new schedule with uni but now that I've completed my first week and know what things are going to be like and have bought some new earphones, I can listen to TTMIK’s podcasts when I’m out too. I’m more determined than ever.

Well, I guess that’s it for this update. I actually have a (sorta controversial) post about EXO (and just the kpop scene in general) coming up very soon, so look out for that.

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